So what kind of superhero am I? This is an interesting question. Some people like to compare themselves to Superman. I am not sure why, because if I was to push them off a building, I am sure they would not be able to fly. But people can surprise you. I might compare myself with Spiderman, as with great power, comes great responsibility. Nope that does not fit me either. If it was with great procrastination, comes nothing getting done, which might fit sometimes.
So now comes some hero’s I can relate with the Incredible Hulk. Yup I get pissed and people better run. When I was a bouncer I figured this may be a good fit. Because when I got enraged, there was nothing that could stop me. Though I didn’t quite turn green, and nobody innocent got hurt. Then for a while I could relate to the Punisher. Bad people need to be dealt with. Sometimes the law was unable to help those in need. Though beating up scum and killing people was a quick way to go to jail.
Wow not many superhero’s you can be if you don’t have super powers or deep pockets or a bit touched in the head. So that leaves questionable heroes. I think I fall in this category. When I was a bodyguard and a bouncer, I was nothing more then a hired gun. Literally, the clubs had me around to protect the front door. I was the first line of defense against gun toting bangers who like to raise a ruckus. Nothing more then a junk yard dog that was battered and abused and loyal to his master, I was never appreciated until I was needed. But when I was needed, it felt like I was a super hero, a knight on a white horse, and the gunslinger rolled into one.
One of the more memorable moments from my past consisted of me going to work a little early. It turned out the club owner was throwing a party for some of his friends and some of the employees on the roof of the after hours club we worked at. Of course I was not invited. The club was located in a downtown area mixed in with a bunch of bars. Though we had a large parking lot where all the trouble went down. They get drunk at the bars and we had to clean up the mess.
I was getting dressed and ready for work. This consisted of putting on a bullet proof vest and strapping on my guns. Last thing I put on was my hoodie and I was then ready to set up the club before the night began. I was over an hour early so there was no rush. My manager came running down the stairs screaming my name and the word “gun” over and over again. First thing I thought was “Duh you know I have a gun!” still bitter at not being invited to the stupid party. As I saw her she was pointing out the door, her face was white and she was scared.
I broke through our double doors at a run. There was a large crowd, a few hundred people running towards me scared. As I heard shouts from people saying that guy has a gun. Time to get paid; I drew my pistol from a concealed holster at my waist. The crowd parted as if I was splitting the red sea. Soon I saw the bad guy. When my manager yelled gun, which she saw from the roof of our building she should have yelled hand cannon. That would have described what this banger was waving around. I was about fifteen feet away and had him dead to rights. “Drop the gun!” (Now I have taken away a lot of guns from people this way. But this was the first time a guy did this.) He tossed the very large revolver into a car full of people. He then ran into the crowd of people whom he was point the gun at. As the crowd began to beat him, I was only concerned with the gun. I now pointed my gun at the car and screamed get out of the car, and if I see a gun you will be dead. The passenger in the front seat jumped out of the window and did a belly flop on the floor and then ran away. The passenger in the back seat climbed out the window as well. The driver was left.
Now there have been a lot of stupid people I have dealt with but this idiot was by far top of the list. Instead of getting out of the car, they rolled up the windows. Now this is when my super powers kick in. As the driver bends over, to avoid being shot or reaching for the gun I am not sure. I covered the ten or so feet in what seemed like milliseconds. As my gun and fist hit the window it exploded in a loud noise of shattering glass. Before the driver was able to reach the gun I had him by the shirt and yanked him out of the car. The driver flew backwards out of the broken window like he was filming a scene from a movie. The crowd started to beat him as well. I reached into the car and picked up the 44 Magnum that was on the floorboard.
The crowd began to swirl the tension was rising. It felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. People were fighting and there I was in the middle with two guns in my hands. Not sure of my next move. As I saw a police officer who was trapped in the crowd as well, I made my way to him. He had his gun out and was ordering people to the ground. I called out and said I was a bouncer and had just taken a gun from one of the guys he had on the ground. I made my way to him where we stood back to back surrounded by people fighting. I notified him that I had guns in my hands. We sat there for what seemed like hours but were only moments. A noise I was familiar with entered my ears. It could not be horses could it? Four mounted police officers entered the crowd! People were screaming and running away. But the mounted police were wasting no time to answer the officer needs of assistance call, that the cop I was with yelled into his radio moments before. I handed the cop the hand cannon I had seized and holstered my weapon as well. The cop thanked me for having his back and explained this was no situation for citizens to get involved in. Then he took me to the side and thanked me again.
The mop up began, as thirty police officers were making the crowd disburse. Two ambulances were lending medical assistance to people that were hurt during the fray. I walked back content that I did a good deed. As I started walking back through the parking lot to the club, people were saying thanks that if I hadn’t been there that guy would have began to shoot everyone. No big deal, just doing my job, is what I said stupidly as I walked back to the club. It wasn’t until I got back to the club that I got a standing ovation from the party on the roof. Even my boss was impressed. All night people talked about how I was a super hero and swooped in and saved everyone.
As with all super hero deeds the next day it was as it never happened. So in a way I feel that I would compare myself to Billy the Kid or Wyatt Earp. Billy the Kid was no hero you say. He was a hero to many. A Robin Hood of sorts, though he did some bad things, he did them for good reasons. Same is said of the Sheriff Wyatt Earp, though some claim he was just a thug hiding behind a badge, he brought law to the Wild West. This reminds me a saying I once heard.
“Congratulations you just met a biker, when we do right, no one remembers. When we do wrong, no one forgets.”
I think that comment can say a lot about my life. I found out there is easier ways to become a super hero. Just throw on some colored long johns and a cape and run around the neighborhood.
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